Ten Reasons Why Every Man Should Own a Bow-Tie

1. They're awesome. I know this is obvious, but it's still worth pointing out.
2. As proven in the diagram above, they are extremely tricky to tie, so actually being able to wear one proves how extremely intelligent you are, without having to rub everyone's nose in it at dinner parties by prattling on about Marcel Proust.
3. The young Republicans are taking them over and wearing them with the horrible blue blazer and oxford pants combination that can only be cool if you are Max Fischer. They must be stopped! Wear the bow-tie and make the Republicans find something else to make themselves feel interesting.
4. They are now coming in a variety of shapes, colors, and textures. Yum!
5. Men have so little to make their outfits interesting. It's been the same sillouettes and staple pieces for years. Get a bow-tie and mix it up.
6. Everyone loves someone bold enough to wear a bowtie. It's a proven fact.
7. While you are STILL waiting for your girl to get ready, and are standing around with nothing else to primp because your hair takes all of five seconds to do, now you can adjust your bow-tie, which takes infinitely longer and looks infinitely cooler than adjusting a regular tie.
8. Why are you still reading this and are not out shopping for bow-ties?
9. James Bond wears a bow-tie. Doesn't every boy secretly or not-so-secretly want to be James Bond?
10. You could end up looking like this:

I know.